How
can YOU get unstuck? Could it be as easy as changing your perspective?
In
my travels I am learning that people from different places are all the same…
in the sense that they are ALL just people. Old or young, male or female, from here or there... And guess what – your parents are
just people too. They might seem really old to you but they were once the same
age as you are now… and they were also children, perhaps with a sad childhood or even a rough one.
Sometimes
it is hard for us to look past our own perceptions and imagine what life is
like for others. We see things the way WE see them and that’s how they are…
right?
WRONG - This is an important concept to understand and take some time to think
about… this can be extremely helpful in many situations because once you become
more agile in your thinking, you are able to grow and become a better version
of yourself. J
Often
if you ask someone about WHY they haven’t reached all their dreams and goals
they can provide you with a list of excuses longer than their arm… You can make
excuses, or you can create an amazing life – but you can’t do both…
Some
excuses are really reasons… just kidding – ‘reasons’ are just excuses that we
have justified to ourselves.
The
sum of all of your experiences is now sitting in your chair. That’s right… YOU
are the sum of what you remember about the experiences that you have had… how
we ‘remember’ something is often quite different than what actually happened.
If
there is a car crash and it happens in front of a group of 12 different people,
do you think you would get 12 statements that are exactly the same? Not one
chance – you will get 12 different accounts of what happened and if you didn’t
know they were talking about the same thing you may not even realize it because
their individual accounts will be SO different… another example – ever played
‘Telephone’?
Are
you wondering yet how you can have different perceptions that can lead to real
change?
Here
is the secret to permanent change:
1.
The perception you have of your memories is not based on reality. Your
memories are LYING.
2.
Believe the truth instead of the lies… easier done than said so don’t
think about it – just do it. (believing the truth is not as fun, sometimes it
can be quite painful – it’s not easy but is worth it)
3.
Change your perceptions of your past and your childhood by reviewing
your memories and the ‘feelings’ you have attached to them. Challenge the
memories that are frozen into your brain about your childhood – rediscover them
now with the rational thinking you have developed as an adult. As you gain a
new perspective, based on rational thinking rather than emotional childhood
memory, you will alter your self-talk. And when you adjust the conversation you
are having with yourself, all day long, you can change your thoughts and your
behavior. Changing your
Changing
your perception of your memories from childhood will change the perception that
you have of yourself TODAY!
Now,
back to our parents – can we look at their life from an outside perspective and
use our logical, rational thinking to imagine what life might have actually
been like for them? Remember that they didn’t have the same luxury of
technology that you did growing up… in fact they had many struggles through
life, including carrying the burden of the stories their own parents shared
with them as they grew up…. And they certainly didn’t have the benefit of
reading this J
So
is it fair to blame your current problems on something that happened years ago?
NO
Let’s
explore ‘humanizing’ our parents. Is it possible that they didn’t have a very
good start in life? Weren’t they just a result of their own conditioning and
environment, the same as you have been?
By
exploring how your parents became the way they are, by using logical reasoning
and our adult thinking, we can move them from possible abusive failures or
whatever category we have them in to fellow strugglers – real people with real
problems. It certainly doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it does help us to
understand and revise the memories we have by looking at them today, instead of
from the memory we created so many years ago.
